Flipping Fear into Fearless Flight – b.truth

I must admit I have been ‘a bit a miss’ of late. Well honestly over the last 18 months but particularly the last 3 months.  I will never admit my actual pain or actual hurt to many but I think it’s time to say; I was hurting a lot.  As many of you know I will choose to share my positive smile and find the happy in the tiniest moment because my Mum taught me that.

 

This is the b.truth of my last 18 months:

• I found out my husband was having an affair with a superior at work – this is not ok in any role or morally correct not in this day not in any era – ensure you know this ladies.
• I fought to remain strong for my kids and openly honest and hopeful as psychologist suggested.
• I ensured I loved my kids extra hard and still worked- I taught my class full time because working with kids actually keeps you grounded.
• I then sought lawyers; which is truly the only way to emotionally detach and sort out this type of mess.
• I was then contacted by the ‘ex. of the husbands mistress’ with hideous details and imagery of this arduous affair which then created more pain and hurt.
• I then fought to secure the home I had built with the ultimate tradie team.
• All settlements were complete and I stood my high moral ground of 50% /50% – no one was taking away anymore of my dignity.
• Then amongst this mess; I wrote a book around my mindset and lessons for young women entitled : BECAUSE I WAS A BAD WIFE by Belinda Norton. This book helped me immensely and I am hopeful it will help some other beautiful women in the same place find her way up for air.
• I then sought to finish the renovation of the house; roof paint; garden and other little finishing touches saving every cent to do so.
• The stress of this hurt was becoming evident in my entire family including my parents; they worried a lot about me. They particularly worried for the kids with me working/teaching, running a business and fighting the fight of my life.
• It was time to reconsider my whole merry-go-round of life. A move closer to my whole family was in order.
• I sold my house for a record in the local area and what pride and gratitude I have for the hard work by all the team involved.
• My Mum then had a heart attack and it’s been a big 3 month recovery.
• I took long service leave from school to help her mend and rebuild the new lifestyle.
• During this time I had to move out of my sold property and what the hell was I going to do with two kids and a dog. At this point the stress was off the charts. I did yoga often but my mind wandered.
• I sort to find a renovator on the Gold Coast on the water – Nothing… was right.
• I then looked in Brisbane closer to Mum and Dad and every thing kept pulling me back home to the old seaside town I grew up in. We found the property that was perfect for a fresh start.
• I then sought to work out the commute from Gold Coast to Brisbane.
• The kids needed to be placed in new schools as the lingering mess of the ex. husband and his new partner and her ex. caused so much grief. Imagine going to school everyday to hear about your Dad and his affair. The kids were hurting.  During this time I received threats and many hurtful exchanges via email and phone calls. Fending this type of pain is always hard.  I was always ultimately fair as an ex. partner doing my best to put emotions aside as the kids are the most important in this saga.
• So I sold the dream house, packed it up, moved schools, packed 100’s of boxes, stored them, stayed with my parents for a few weeks and looked after my mum. I settled the kids at school, rented and bought a new renovator.
• In this time www.blivewear.com was busy. Not only did I need to keep up the business flow with writing, emails, books, speaking events, collaborations, photo shoots I also wrote a new book.  It is due out in 2019. The ultimate in health and fitness for the busy single mum. It’s the fast facts on how I have still remained in good health amongst this ultimate stress and pain.  It’s set for the ‘time poor Mum’. I cannot wait to share it with you all.
• We finally moved into the new house; unpacked; and set a fresh new style; the kids are happy and loving their new school and they have built a ton of resilience and Me…little b. well I’m now in love.
• Finally today I think I have found the air and I actually woke up this morning looked outside with ‘my love’ and felt a clear head.

 

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How did I find the strength to cope & to flip the fear into fearless flight?

 

It’s simple: always do things with love.  Every day I knew it was for the love of my kids, for the love of life, for the love of others and for the love of ones self.

 Another way was I ate perfectly well because my body required it and I knew I could not afford to be sick nor fall to bits.  Every one needed me and I required total body wellness.  I trained less due to time constraints and maintained the body I required for photo shoots. My mind was blurry some days but this was to be expected and now it is totally clear.

Finding that fearlessness also came with trusting the flow of the day.  If things were meant to go a certain way then they would.  I just had to show patience and not force any approach.  I certainly got frustrated but as I remember reading a quote ‘an arrow must be pulled back to be expelled further forward than every imagined.’ This quote is so true I was pulled back, down and I did fall off the string multiple times only to then reattached. I would reset to be aligned once again and try to go forward. Forward with hopeful positivity is the only way.

Another flight filled drive was letting go of the past and people. ‘The people who didn’t value you; do not deserve your head space or mind waste on them’ b.x  Remain fair and true to love for those closest to you and for yourself and this will help you find the forgiveness. 

 

Today as I write this openly raw and honest blog;  I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, I want you to feel empowered! Nothing will or can hold you back! If I can do this… anyone can! Let the fear go and find the best flight of your life.

Health and Happiness always,

b.x

 

 

b.wear @dharmabumsactive