Who else still feels the Mum guilt bug burn when you are going out? … This situation is real especially when it involves our teen girls.
As a Mum of two teens; one boy, one girl I have noticed a vast difference in their mental growth patterns. I have also noticed the difference over recent years with all students and wanted to share my experience and expertise on children and their behavioural patterns from ground level teaching to parenting. In this article we are focussing on the girls however I will share my ‘Top 8 Tips for Teen Boys’ too in coming weeks.
Top 8 Tips to Manage our Teen Girls
Our teenage girls want to be adults; treated like and get and do things like adults however they are incapable to act like an adult due to development. We as parents ofter assume they are mature and can handle adult situations unfortunately this is our first mistake – they cannot. My personal and greatest challenge daily is managing my teen girl. Teen girls have a way of disrupting our well-intentioned rational behavior, so forgive yourself for slipping if your have, and here is an opportunity to reset your efforts.
1. Learn to ignore the eye roll.
Don’t give them the power by overreacting to teenage instinct. Communicate with teen Shake it “When you roll your eyes at me, it makes it hard to have a mature conversation with you,”. It is developmentally appropriate, and she’ll eventually grow out of it.
2. Don’t confuse dressing like a woman with dressing sexy or sexual. Young women (teens) want to express themselves in dress. It is the most important way for them to share their personality. It provides a secure identity to fall back too.
3. Make talking about sex and the body normal. Our daughters deserve more dialogue before finding themselves in situations where they’re being pushed into sexual behavior.
4. Tolerate their self-absorption. Teens are egomaniacs. It’s developmentally normal for them to focus on their problems and their desires.
5. Use caution when discussing their friends or friendships. Be the role model for positive language about others. This is key especially when parents speak of children in a unfair manner. We must communicate as parent to parent as opposed to bad mouthing a child. We must show this communication skill to our teens as it is mature.
6. Call out bad behaviour or bad manners. Teenage girls can be rude, obnoxious, and cruel. They know how to say things that hurt and push your buttons. Instead of getting into an argument or allowing your daughter to escalate the situation, just say, “I do not accept the way you are speaking to me. Let’s talk about this another time.” I usually take away their phone for a day if they mistreat me. It’s important for them to learn that bad behavior has ramifications. It’s even more important for you to stay calm and remember that your teen is a sea of raging hormones. Don’t hold it against them or give them the silent treatment.
7. Be the grown-up. As much as we want to connect, we don’t want to be their buddy. Teens need us to be their moral compass and to be in charge. When they know our rules — even when they break them — they feel safe.
8. Let them learn from small failures. Facing consequences and overcoming challenges is part of becoming a resilient adult. Mistakes are good, mistakes are great as they teach risk taking and allow the teen to find themselves. Share you mistakes as an adult with ownership and how it has enhanced your journey into adulthood.
Health and Happiness,
b.x